From prison, Otto recalls how not wearing his uniform fully marked the beginning of his distance from school and his approach to crime. He felt stupid, ridiculed and preferred to “hang out with those at the busstop”, sell drugs and, even if it was only once, kidnap someone. Today, although he could go back to school, he prefers not to because he remembers his time at school with bitterness.
In her book, Invisibles, stories of adolescents who committed homicide (2022), under the title of “The Uniform”, psychologist Etty Kaufmann tells us Otto’s story. The book is based on interviews that Etty did with adolescent men and women, in different prisons in Costa Rica. As we read it, we plunge into that dark and, at the same time, naïve reality of some teenagers who have lived through the challenges of drug trafficking, mental illness and exclusion from the educational system and the benefits of public health.
Could it be that Otto’s destiny is a dead end that, like his name, reads the same in one sense as in the other? What are we doing as parents, as a country and as a society, to give and restore hope to teenagers like Otto? How to help them live a dignified and happy life? These questions are addressed in the most recent episode of the podcast La Telaraña, entitled Adolescence, in which the visual artist Rossella Matamoros, the doctor Olga Arguedas and Jurgen Ureña, host of the program, chat.
Rossella has held multiple exhibitions and workshops on adolescence. With a sense of humor, she indicates that this stage of life is key because “it is the last moment when you can pull their shirts.” She reminds us that there is a lack of spaces to give them sensitive, loving, careful accompaniment, which allows the healthy transition to adulthood. “When you become an adult and you don’t have mental health, it’s your decision,” Rosella says.
Based on her extensive experience as a doctor, Olga recommends parents of teenagers, and this includes me directly, to be present, truly, without distractions. Listen, listen, listen and, if it is really necessary, speak, but not to judge. This little pill of wisdom reminded me of the pact reached by Parthenope and his anthropology professor, in the 2024 film of the same name, directed by Paolo Sorrentino: “I will never judge you. You’ll never judge me.” How we parents of adolescents need to follow this!
Good music led the guests of the program to talk about pain and, in particular, about hope as a vaccine against sadness and a fundamental ingredient for the emotional development of adolescents. Let’s listen, with Olga and Rossella, to the Argentine singer Diego Torres, who reminds us to paint our faces Color Esperanza. Every day, I would add. Let’s try.